Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Yay, New Blog!

So this is a two-part blog today. Part one is "pervasive sexual fantasy of the week," and part two is a list for Mattress because she gets annoyed with me when I don't know what my favorite [insert noun here] is. I'm going to give myself time to think about the answers, and she can consult the list when necessary. :D

Ok, without further ado, here we go with part one.

Pervasive Sexual Fantasy of the Week

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, slave-girl is having rape fantasies again. Remember, you heard it here first.

It's not so much a desire for pain, though obviously if I'm involved, there'll be some. :) And I don't have a particular way that I want it to play out, either. It's more about the way I'll feel while it happens than an actual plot line.

It's not that I need to be "forced" to do anything. (Obviously.) I'm not one of those obnoxious "oh-please-'force'-me-to-do-things-I-don't-have-the-balls-to-admit-I-actually-want-to-do" people. (Which makes me think of phone sex idiots. Which makes me gag.)

For me, it's the need to feel overpowered, to feel completely helpless and at the mercy of my "captors," to be used as a toy with which to amuse themselves and sate their desires.

Sometimes, in this fantasy, I'm a little girl. And sometimes, I'm my actual age. It doesn't matter much. They both have their perks.

And, yes, most of my fantasies are these weird, free-form things that never have a real storyline to them. It's one reason I have a hard time talking about my fantasies because they're not really these pretty little stories that are easily communicated. They're more like random images that pop in my head at certain times. I forget the images easily, but the overreaching theme is always there.

Onto part two. :)

List of Various Favorite Things for Mattress

Number: 13 (yay, it's lucky!)

Color(s): Purple and green are my favorites. But I also really like blue and red and certain shades of pink. With my hair, eyes, and skin tone, I look better in deeper, jewel tones, so those tend to be my favorite colors. I look my absolute best in royal blue or royal purple, but I'm also not half bad in, like, emerald green, the cooler tones of red (crimson, wine, etc.), fuschia, and, of course, black. :)

Season: Spring, no doubt. Then, Summer. Then, Fall and Winter. See? I go in order.

Month: April or May. I like Spring. :)

Holiday(s): Easter is my favorite. I also love Halloween because my friends and I do--or try to do--theme parties. (Have I mentioned I love theme parties? I'm so cheesy.)

Dessert: That'd be red velvet. Oh, speaking of which, I'm terribly disappointed in my cupcakes I made yesterday. Ugh. They're terrible. I almost chunked them. The cake is way, way, way too heavy. That's what I get for going ahead and making them without baking soda or vinegar, both of which the recipe calls for. I hate heavy cake. I should know better by now than to try and make things I don't have all the ingredients for. Bad slave-girl! One more disaster like that, and I have to move on to my second favorite, which is chocolate meringue pie. Mmm...meringue.

Appetizer: Spinach dip. My aunt makes the best ever. Which reminds me, I need to get her recipe.

Food: Actually, this is too complicated. I'm breaking it down into sub-categories.

~Italian: Eggplant parmesan. Yes, I know it has no meat. But mmmm. Deep-fried vegetables. And pasta. So delightfully bad for you. Though I'm not picky. I love everything with pasta and marinara sauce. Alfredo sauce...ehh, not so much.

~Mexican: Either quesadillas or burritos made with fajita meat (chicken or steak, doesn't matter). Oddly enough, I don't really like actual fajitas. I must have lettuce, tomato, and sour cream with my meat and cheese. I'm kind of weird about liking veggies to break up the monotony of meat and/or cheese. That's how my mother always had us eat, and I'm sort of used to it by now. It feels weird to eat, say, a cheeseburger, without lettuce and tomato and such.

~Chinese: Sesame chicken, no doubt about it here. I also <3 crab angles and hot and sour soup to make the meal complete. I do like most Chinese, but I'm partial to the poultry dishes.

~Seafood: Deviled crab. But I also love shrimp pretty much anyway it can be cooked, except coconut shrimp. Seafood should not be sweet. Mmm, and fried clam strips. And scallops. Oh, screw it, I like all seafood but oysters and fish (with the exception of grouper).

~I-Don't-Feel-Well-And-I-Want-Something-Easy-But-Yummy Food: Tomato soup and grilled cheese. Also a throwback from childhood.

~Ice Cream: Mayfield's Hog Heaven is the greatest thing in the world, but it's also damn near impossible to find. So strawberry, preferably with chocolate syrup and some kind of nuts. Then vanilla. Stop laughing!

~Pizza Topping: Pepperoni or Italian sausage with lots of veggies. Or just straight veggie pizza. But not all meat. I hate that. Ugh. (Anyone sensing a pattern here?)

~Side Dish: Stuffed yellow squash. There is nothing better.

~Steak: Rib-eye, cooked medium, no real preference on the marinade.

~The All-Encompassing Country-Ass Food Category: Barbecue. Or ham and dressing. Or fried chicken with homemade macaroni and cheese and several side items to balance out all the starchiness. And pink salad.

Sport: Horsey-riding, duh. That goes for participating and watching. I used to love to play softball (slow-pitch, I blew when they sprung fast-pitch on us my senior year in high school) until I messed up my throwing arm falling off the horse. So I'm effectively disabled from that. As far as team sports go, I like to watch baseball, though I'm not into it as much as I used to be. Car races are also pretty entertaining, too, though NASCAR's gotten to where it bores the living shit out of me nowadays.

Alcoholic Drink: I gotta make categories here, too, LOL. I'm only including liquors I actually like. I am not a tequila or a gin person at all. For that matter, I also don't do beer. Or wine unless I'm already drunk.

~Vodka Drinks: That'd probably be a vodka cranberry. I'm easy. And I don't like overly sweet stuff, usually.

~Rum Drinks: Rum is one of my favorites as far as liquor goes. Mai Tais are probably my absolute favorite, but Hurricanes and Bahama Mamas and Daiquiris (only actual Daiquiris, which are lime, not any of this sickeningly sweet fruity shit) are close behind, provided THEY'RE NOT TOO DAMN SWEET. Bacardi Punch ain't half bad, either.

~I-Need-To-Get-Really-Fucked-Up-With-Minimal-Amounts-Of-Effort Drinks: Screaming Blue Motherfuckers. I have had way too much experience with this category, LOL.

~I-Feel-Rednecky Drink: Either Wild Turkey or Jack and Coke. Not terribly complicated here, either.

~I'm-Super-Buzzed-And-I-Need-To-Stay-That-Way-Without-Getting-Totally-Fucked-Up Drink: $3 wine or bitch beer (but only of the lime or sour apple varieties). I'm SO classy.

~I'm-Drinking-It-Straight Drink: Maker's Mark. Yay!

Non-Alcoholic Drink: Dr. Pepper for the fizzy stuff. Probably lemonade for the non-fizzy. Or homemade cherry limeade.

Candy: I love dark chocolate. As far as non-dark-chocolate candy goes, I'd say Caramelo (or however you spell it), but that changes frequently. I get on kicks. For not-chocolate, it's Gummi Savers. Or anything gummy.

Band: 3 doors down. Yes, I know. I am not cultured in my music choices. But they call it popular music because LOTS of people like it, dammit!

Writer: Sylvia Plath. And Dorothy Parker. The dark humor in both is GREAT, even if Parker's is more overt, and Plath's is more interspersed with "OMG, must wallow in my own misery."

Movie: Sylvia. It's about Sylvia Plath's life. (Imagine that.) That was the obligatory answer. Other answers include Smokey and the Bandit (yes, I loved it BEFORE I got whacked with the crop everytime someone talked on the CB), The Princess Bride, most of Mel Brooks's movies, The Life of Brian, Holy Grail, the Fast and the Furious movies (because Paul Walker is just too pretty, even if he probably is dumb as a rock in real life), etc., etc. I'm very much a comedy person. I like to be entertained. Most drama either annoys or depresses me. Action movies aren't my thing, really. And horror movies are either vomitrociously stupid, or they give me nightmares. (Yes, I just admitted that out loud.)

Website: Cake Wrecks. Yes, I just admitted that, too.

Animal: A horse, of course! Cats are good, too.

Item Of Clothing: That would be my amazing royal blue halter cocktail dress which I have worn a grand total of once because I never go anywhere to wear such things, but it's beauuuuuutiful.

Place: The beach. Or Shelbyville, Tennessee, when the Celebration is going on.

Car: I drool over the original Ford GT-40s. Let's not talk about how much they're worth nowadays.

Fruit: Cherries are my most favoritest, but I love fruit in almost all its forms.

Flower: Tulips. Preferably red.

Store: For clothing, I have to go with Lane Bryant 'cause they're big enough to fit my fat ass, and they always have such pretty colors. Especially when a loser subbie boy is paying for my $50 jeans. Oops, did I say that out loud?

Favorite Sexual Thing To Have Done To Me: Fisting.

Favorite Sexual Thing To Do To Someone Else: Oral. Male or female. Doesn't matter. :D

Favorite Masochistic Activity: Breast/nipple torture.

Favorite Sadistic Activity: Whacking the shit out of people with either my riding crop or my dressage whip. I must incorporate my horsiness in all things I do.

Favorite Cheap "Toy" I Ever Got Out Of Something That Was Never Meant To Be Used As A Sex Toy: A 99-cent metal sweat scraper from Tractor Supply (or other tack store). It leaves the coolest marks and hurts like a BITCH. Which is why it's for me to use on other people, not for them to use on me, LOL.

Ok, I'm exhausted and out of ideas. Maybe I'll do another installment of this later, especially if Mattress has requests for more "favorites."

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