Monday, May 25, 2009


I miss them.

I'm tired of posting these stupid, melancholy, whiny-ass blogs about how much I miss them. Desperation and clinginess are not attractive traits in a person, particularly a slave-girl. Seems that's all I do nowadays, though.

It's so bad that my friend L. just looks at me when I'm whining about something completely unrelated and says, "Hurry up and go see them." The "before you run me crazy" part on the end is implied.

I just don't want to need them so much that I ultimately push them away.

I don't like being here 'cause it sucks. This whole town sucks, and I've been here much too long (7 years). Truth is, the only reason I'm still here is that I don't feel like I have anywhere else to go. My lease runs out in August, and I have no idea where I'm going to go or what I'm going to do next.

I'm just NOT staying here. And I'll be damned if I'm going home, which really isn't "home" anymore, anyway.

That kind of leaves me a gypsy. I don't really have anywhere to go, and I don't much like the idea of going somewhere I don't know anyone. That didn't work out so well for me the first time.

But when I'm with them, I feel like I belong somewhere. I guess maybe that's why I'm almost always lonely when I'm not with them or something. Or maybe I'm really just crazy and whiny.

Either way, I hope I get to see them soon. The little girl in me doesn't like not being close to them. :(

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